When is it time to quit romance writing entirely?

A while back, I talked about figuring out when to quit writing a series. What about when you want to throw in the towel and just quit the publishing game entirely?

Today I’m interviewing my friend and client Jenny Bunting, who’s been in the game for four years, wrote 14 books, and just quit romance writing. I’m incredibly proud of Jenny for all the books she’s written, for knowing when it was time for her to quit, and for having the courage to talk about it so openly.

Jenny’s done a lot of really insightful IG Stories and posts (which I will link at the end), and in one of them, she talks about how we live in a culture that promotes a lot of toxic advice about how to reach your goals, be a boss babe, never give up on your dreams, etc. In fact, when I got Jenny’s newsletter email announcing that she was quitting because she “questioned [her] value as a person because [she] could not make this really difficult thing work” and it “made me miserable more than it’s made me happy,” the very next email in my inbox was from a social media influencer’s newsletter that basically said, “you have to hustle! You have to do it even when you think you suck! If you’re not self-motivated, don’t work for yourself, work for someone else! Do the work!” The contrast was STARK.

The latter email’s mindset will burn you out and make you hate the thing you wanted so badly. Protecting mental health and creativity is something I've talked about a lot here, and sometimes letting go of the whole thing that is harming your mental health and creativity is actually the best thing you can do. But quitting something you love(d) is never easy, and comes with its own mental challenges too. So much of your identity gets wrapped up in the things you love and the goals you set, especially in a creative profession, and to let that go often means rewriting your life to do it.

On the plus side, you are a writer—and that never changes, whether you’ve published one book, twenty books, or no books at all—and rewriting is something that you already know.

It’s also very hard to not get caught up in the mindset that if you just work harder and do all the things and pour so much money and time and energy in, you’ll be successful. And it does take so much hard work (and let me tell you, I’ve been with Jenny from the beginning and I SAW how much work she put in—it was a LOT) and luck and timing and honestly, money. (Notice I haven’t said a thing about talent—because I’m already assuming you have it if you’re wanting to publish, and talent/quality is entirely subjective anyway.) But there are so many factors at play in the publishing industry, and you can’t control all of them.

This is absolutely not meant to dissuade you from your publishing dreams. I want you to succeed, obviously! But I want you to be realistic too, and protect your mind and your heart when you’re not getting the kind of success you want at the speed you think it should happen. That doesn’t necessarily mean quitting is right for you right now, but it’s an option to consider. It’s easy to get caught up in the hope that you’ll break through and “make it” (however you define that) when the people you see doing that make it look so easy (which is usually an illusion, anyway). But they are usually outliers whose success can’t be easily replicated.

(Back in the day, I was in a PhD program and wanted to be a professor, and then—and still—it’s mostly just hope that you’re going to be the one who gets one of the very few tenure-track professor jobs there are in your field out of a sea of applicants in an oversaturated market. I ended up leaving that program five years in, and had been thinking about quitting since my first year. I wish I had been as brave as Jenny and known when to quit and saved myself a lot of stress and heartache.)

So here is my interview with Jenny about the trajectory of her writing career and her decision to quit, her tips for authors with hindsight, the romance industry as a whole, and her reflections on her author accomplishments.


Jenny’s Author Career:

Q: What were you doing for your author career?

A: I published contemporary rom-coms from May 2020 to April 2024. Overall, I published two series with full-length books, a novella trilogy, a prequel short story, and a small-town standalone. I published fourteen titles total.

As far as marketing, I maintained a website, a newsletter that went out at least monthly, a readers’ group on Facebook, an Instagram profile (where I was most active), and a TikTok account I did here and there. I did signed paperback giveaways, I went to a signing as a reader, I did newsletter swaps with authors of all audience sizes. While I did publishing, I worked a full-time job. I have no children, I'm married, and I have a dog. I funded this all on my own. It started paying for itself in 2021.

Q: What did you originally want from your author career?

A: I did want to be a full-time author and quit my day job. For me to feel comfortable, I would've had to replace my income with book sales completely. As far as timeframe, I would've loved if that happened in the first three years.

Q: What were some successes or milestone/markers that encouraged you to keep going?

A: Seeing books earn out what it cost to produce them really encouraged me to keep going. Additionally, seeing a lifetime million page reads through Kindle Unlimited was cool. Getting compliments from other authors, especially ones I admire, also kept me motivated.

Q: How did your relationship to writing change as you went on?

A: It became a job, even though I called writing and publishing a hobby. It was one more thing I needed to do on top of the rest of my life. Additionally, I was writing a product more than having fun. You do need to keep the market in mind, and I did, but towards the end I started taking risks (like writing a trope the masses hated but I loved, writing a softer hero, etc.). While you can write different scenarios and tropes, writing the same story arc over and over again got tiresome. For the first two years, I really loved it, and then I grew resentful of it.

Q: What would you have done differently from the beginning?

A: I would've done more research on indie romance. I've always enjoyed romance, but I didn't read it much before I decided to write what would become my first book, Here. I should've read Kindle Unlimited for six months before I decided to write my book. Additionally, I should've been more mindful of money I was spending. When you’re first starting out, you get this mindset that you want to be professional and put your best foot forward. Looking back, I could've saved myself around a thousand dollars if I would've been more aware of the money going out. Now, I understand ROI, and I wished I had some grasp on that. You want to make sure what you’re doing will pay off. I should've started small, just paying for an editor and a cover and gone from there.

Q: What were the clues that it was time to quit?

A: I would take breaks from writing and not miss it. It became harder and harder for me to sit down and do it. I didn't do this for a job so when it stopped being fun, when it was making me miserable, I knew the end was near. I tried writing a follow-up to All of Me, and I got about fifteen thousand words in and realized I'd have to overhaul it, with a whole new FMC. I didn't want to do that. I had written a Christmas novella, and thinking about waiting seven months to publish it felt like so long. I did some math, with some basic projections and compared whether leaving now or later would be more beneficial. Just paying attention to my chronic apathy and gut feelings made me realize I needed to quit now, and not wait.


Tips for Authors:

Q: What should a new author do? What should a mid-list author do?

A: Go in with realistic expectations and goals. You need to put the work in the right areas to get results. Publish and Pray no longer works. Additionally, you could be working so hard at the wrong things, and it might not be a good ROI for your time and effort. Publishing indie romance is about thirty percent writing, seventy percent marketing, and I wish I knew that going in. Reach out to other authors and readers. Setting up an account and posting sales-y things to a social media account is not going to get you readers. You have to market. Do as much independent research as you can. Live a life outside of publishing. Rest. Pay attention to what the market wants and try to make it your own.

Q: Where is it worth spending your money?

A: Good editing and a good cover, within reason. As a new author, you shouldn't be hiring the best of the best, because they're expensive and you do not have proof of concept yet. There are good affordable editors out there and you just need to do your research. But I would recommend making a list of dream editors and cover designers that you can work towards working with, once you know people like your books and will pay for them.

Romance Publishing:

Q: What are the good things about publishing? What are the bad things?

A: It cuts out the gatekeepers so it lets the free market decide what is popular and what is not. In general, the indie romance author community is really supportive and willing to help. Additionally, the genre we write in is very uplifting and optimistic, when the world isn't. The opportunity to have a quick turnaround from writing to publishing was also attractive for me when I started. Additionally, it can be exhilirating to see your KDP dashboard go crazy when a marketing tactic worked or people love a book.

Some bad things—capitalism in indie publishing is out of control. The pressure to write and publish at an unsustainable pace, lack of transperancy in regards to marketing dollars spent and behind the scenes mistakes made but are not owned up to. The hive mentality and the desire to keep up with algoritms so they only post about books that are already popular. How authors who are struggling keep going because of sunk costs. Lastly, the parasocial relationships created are kinda creepy, especially knowing they've read your sex scenes. That never sat well with me.

Q: What are the toxic parts of publishing? How do you avoid them?

A: The most toxic part for me was the comparisonitis. I was jealous of other authors all the time. If I saw a bookstagrammer who read my book and read someone else’s in KU and bought a physical copy of theirs but not mine, I got so down on myself. I picked innocent people to be jealous of and it wasn't their fault! Touching grass and living in the real world is so important. You need time away from your phone, being around people who love you IRL. Get out in nature, go for a walk. Engage in non-writing and reading hobbies. Being on social media and seeing everyone killing it can be really hard, no matter how well you're doing. It's human nature to compare, and this unfortunately makes it worse. Ultimately, I couldn't handle it, and it was making me miserable.


Final Reflections:

Q: How did you define success in publishing when you were writing? How do you define success in publishing now?

A: My definition of success morphed once I demoted it to a hobby. As long as it kept paying for itself and I had enough money to cover my expenses, I was happy. Additionally, I felt successful when I stuck to my integrity with writing (as in not writing trendy things if I wasn't into it). It all depends on what your goals are. If it's a hobby, it's successful when you're having fun and not going into debt to fund it. If you want it to be a business, you need to see growth with each book. The book's profits should be in the black soon after release. You should be retaining customers with each release (as in the majority read subsequent books, go back into your backlist, join your newsletter etc.). Consistency should be key. If all you have is ten minutes, working on your writing ten minutes a day a few weeks in a row is way preferable to waiting for huge chunks of time. Success is feeling great about it, taking rest when you need it, and not crying about it. Also your success might look different than others. Comparing yourself to a big name author might be unfair because their resources look different than yours. I would recommend any author look for a baseline of success and then use that to gauge success. Right now, making over $30 is great for me because I stepped away and am no longer actively marketing my books.

Q: What are you proud of in your author career?

A: I'm proud of myself for trying something new when I wasn't sure if I was suited for it (I ultimately found I was not). I've always wanted to publish a book, and I published fourteen. I'm proud that it paid for itself for three years and I'm proud that I told stories the way I wanted to, and not what the hot trendy thing was. I'm proud that all the books in my Finch Family series, including an attached standalone, became profitable right as I quit. I'm proud that I grew as a person and I will take the lessons with me as I proceed with my life. I'm proud that I'm leaving behind a legacy, no matter how small. In my books I put lots of myself, my views on the world and love. No one can take that away from me.

 

I’m really grateful to Jenny for sharing all of this. If you are too, her books are still available on KU and Amazon, so go give them a read. (Her favourite is Heart of Gold, I believe, while my faves are Hustle and Hubby.) She has a hilarious voice that I’m going to miss reading.

Jenny also put out a lot of quitting-related posts and a bunch of stories on IG right before she left, and they are definitely worth checking out for her insights and her honesty in how freaking hard it is to be an indie romance author.

This post is not to convince you to quit writing! I hope, though, it was helpful to you in gauging where you’re at in your author career. Yes, it is really hard to do this job, and yes, there are always going to be obstacles and difficulties and frustrations with it. But it can also be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling and exciting to do this work that you love. So you have to decide for you when it’s best—mentally, physically, financially, emotionally, professionally—to keep going or stop. And truly, if whatever road you choose is the best for you in the end, you’re right where you need to be.